If you’re feeling bad well-nigh a rough first date, just remember: at least it wasn’t with Taco Bell Guy.
Aside from the dancing, TikTok is known for its “story times” where people share some of their craziest and most unbelievable real-life experiences. There are some pretty bonkers tales on the app, but user Elyse Myers may just have taken the confection with her recollection of one jaw-dropping first date.
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The viral video began with the woman announcing the “worst first date” she’d overly been on surpassing meeting her “smokeshow of a husband.” At the time, she got a message on a dating app from a man who said “I like your face,” and invited her out to eat. She was pondering whether a shared love of supplies made them “soulmates” when the red flags began (helpfully denoted by red flag emojis on her screen). She explained:
“He says, ‘Meet me at my house, I will momentum us to the restaurant together.’ Why did we not just meet there? I have no idea. I momentum 45 minutes to his house. He’s standing outside of it. He walks up to my car and he goes ‘I’ve lost my keys, can you momentum us there?’ Should I have just left him right there and gone home? Yes. Did I? Absolutely not.”
Off to a rough start so far!!!
“He gets in, starts giving me turn by turn directions. He could’ve been leading me to an x-rated warehouse and I still would’ve been like, ‘Left at this stop sign? Okay!’ We end up at a Taco Bell. Which is fine. I’m like, ‘Dine in or momentum thru?’ And he’s like ‘Drive thru’ and I’m like ‘Great. He has a plan.’ We get to the speaker and he just leans over and goes: ‘I would like 100 nonflexible shell tacos thank you.’”
Elyse was just as stunned as we are, pausing to let the number sink in. Of course, when they pulled up to pay, her stage did “one of these numbers,” patting himself lanugo to squint for his wallet. When he confirmed he didn’t have it on him, unbelievably, she well-set to pay. Then, she said:
“I buy the 100 tacos, and I’m like ‘Where to next?’ And he goes, ‘Back to my house.’ And I was like ‘…Okay. This is happening. I’m just, I’m single-minded to this now, it’s happening.’ We get to his house, we walk in, his dad is on the couch. I’m like, ‘He lives with his dad, it’s fine.’ The hoops I am TELEPORTING through, to convince myself that this visualization that I’ve made is okay is just wild. Walk past his dad, into the kitchen, he just starts emptying the boxes of tacos, just releasing them onto the table, puts two chairs at the table, sits down, and he just screams at the top of his lungs, ‘LET’S FEAST!’”
OMG it just gets worse and worse! She went on:
“I am just uncomplicatedly unwrapping my taco and taking a zest of it. We are eating hardshell tacos in well-constructed silence. You can hear both of us chewing. It’s wool chaos. The dad walks up, grabs a taco — there’s a hundred of them, we have so many to spare. He’s eating over us, just like standing, doesn’t sit, stands right next to the table, crunches, mouth full, he just looks at me and he goes, ‘Do you wanna see my studio?’ And I was like, ‘I have never wanted to see anything less in my unshortened life.’”
Finally seeing sense, Elyse concluded:
“It was that moment that I decided this stage was completely over, or else I was gonna be killed. 100%. I am now just like, collecting the tacos, considering I paid for them. I walk out with boxes of tacos in my purse. I squint when and I was like, ‘Thank you for this experience, you will never hear from me again.’”
@elysemyersI haven’t been to a @tacobell since. ##coffeetalk ##theadhdway ##firstdatefail ##tacobell♬ original sound – Elyse Myers
LOLz! What a trip! At least she took those tacos with her!! (She admitted in the caption that she hasn’t been to Taco Bell since.)
In a follow up video, Elyse answered questions well-nigh the unconvincing incident, such as what the man’s name was (“Can’t remember for the life of me”) and how much those 100 tacos forfeit — an unscientific $149.07, “which was two times the value of money that I spent on groceries every week, which is what that money was actually for.” She was moreover asked if she was exaggerating well-nigh the number of tacos, but insisted:
“I literally bought 100 crunchy tacos from Taco Bell for this man, and I probably would have bought 1,000 if he ordered them. If you say that you would’ve washed-up something different, you’re either lying, or you’re not a woman who has met somebody online for the first time.”
@elysemyers##tacoguy ##firstdatefail ##questionsanswered ##coffeetalk ##theadhdway @tacobell♬ original sound – Elyse Myers
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To top it all off, she recalled that it “felt like an eternity” waiting for the uniting restaurant to make their food, though it was probably only 15 minutes… during which the man talked to her well-nigh his ex-girlfriend. Yep. That’s the worst stage ever, alright.
What do U think, Perezcious readers — do you think you can top Taco Bell Guy? Tell us YOUR worst first stage stories in the comments (below)!
[Image via Elyse Myers/TikTok]